Dear my lovely readers, bit of a deep post today but it's something I've wanted to do for a while, this is the sort of thing you can't just sit down and write whenever, wherever because the words won't flow freely. I'm all cosy in bed right now, feeling inspired. Basically I think it's about time I shared some positivity with you all. Hopefully this won't turn into a ramble but if it does, I know it will be worthwhile.
Where to begin, life is crazy isn't it, unfortunately everyone has rough patches, the reason being that you will come out of the storm into the sunshine a changed person. You will come out of that dark tunnel into the light with a new outlook on life, it may take a while but believe me, it will happen. I used to think that all of that was a load of rubbish, it's so easy just to look past it and say "yeah right" when you think that your life is in the centre of that storm, or deep inside the tunnel with no where to turn. Four years ago, my life entered that storm, that tunnel. Things weren't easy, me and my family were affected in so many different ways, I felt like my life was just tumbling down a steep hill into a pile of nothingness. That storm did begin to clear up, as all storms do, however, the grey clouds remained as I had ended up a stranger to myself. At that time, I hadn't yet become this great person in the sunshine with a positive outlook on life, I felt trapped. My confidence had hit rock bottom and even answering the register would be one of my worst nightmares. I would start to panic as I felt the eyes of my classmates turn to me, staring at me. Being asked a question in class made me wish for the ground to just open up and let me in, my hands would get clammy. I would begin to shake as panic filled up inside of me, even though I knew the answer, words just wouldn't exit my mouth, they wanted to be locked up in there. It was not nice. I found it so hard to talk to people, making friends was such a hard task, I just couldn't do it. I felt extremely lonely for a while, I didn't know what to do.
To this day I'm still not sure exactly what I did. I just know that the pieces started to fit back together, it will happen. The number one thing that kept me strong and pulled me through was quotes, and quotes told me a lot. I'm going to do another post on quotes soon, I put this one together way back when my blog was just a baby, looking back I was all about not giving up, which is something I didn't do. The number one lesson I have learnt from my past, and for anyone who is struggling please take this in, life really is too short to be anything but happy. It takes a lot for me to get angry or annoyed these days, I'm genuinely a very happy chappy. One thing that does make me a little sad however, is hearing people complain about silly things, my Twitter and Facebook feed is constantly bombarded with people expressing their complaints about some minor problems which in reality, aren't problems at all. I no longer get involved with silly, pointless drama, if it does come my way I simply just say "I don't want to argue, I'm not going to talk about it" and I can tell you it's one of the best things I have done, life is so much more relaxed. Why spend your life feeling angry? Why would you want to spend precious minutes, hours, days of your life feeling that way? We should all realise how lucky we are and that life really does go by quickly so why waste it feeling unhappy, this is something which now crosses my mind everyday. I have a roof over my head, I have tasty food, I am healthy, I have an amazing family, amazing friends and the perfect boyfriend. I am so lucky and so are you. For example, "if you can read this you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all". There are unfortunately people way worse off, and I wish I could make it all better for them. We should be grateful for the life we live, we should make the most of it and live it to the full. There is no point in spending your life filled with negativity, see the positives in everything, be as happy as you can be, take each moment and make it beautiful, create big goals and never give up on your journey to reach them. I am now determined to do voluntary work abroad and travel America, I want to travel the world to be honest. I aim to become a social worker, I want to help people dig their way out of tough situations. I may still have confidence issues but I'm working on them, I have come a long way, I'm far from what I once was. This is me. I hope this is me forever because I don't think my outlook on life can get much better. I think I will leave it there.
I hope I have been able to reach out to at least one of you.
Remember, life is beautiful.
So are you.